Have children facing walls.
If you take your children climbing, they will get to know how to live.
Hello everyone,
I hope this finds you all safe, sound, and pursuing your dreams.
I have missed being here with you and sharing some ideas, but things have been productive lately and I want to ride the wave as long as I can. I'll be back with more of what's going on, but today I'm here to share something much bigger than my own life; my life's mission to become the best father I can be.
Kids at home today, my wife all over the place with work, and I decided to take the little one climbing. She loves it and I think it's an amazing sport to develop your physical and mental skills and that's what I'm going to share with you all today.
So today we have only one goal: how climbing can teach your children about life and its ups and downs.
According to the Cambridge dictionary Climbing is “the sport of climbing on rocks or in mountains, or on specially designed walls inside or outdoors.” In my case with Clara, we explore the designed walls inside the version of the sport.
So what's my angle here?
After watching Clara push herself to the limit, I started to see patterns in climbing challenges and in real life.
I'm going to go through them one by one, but I'm sure it's broader than what I can see from where I am today, and it's definitely something I want to encourage Clara as she continues to ask me at the end of every session, "Dad, can we come back tomorrow?"
Starting from the bottom
Every single climb starts from the bottom and when you face the wall in front of you - in Clara's case the wall is 20-40 times her size - and look up, you can doubt yourself, freeze up, and end up giving up before you start.
Just like in life, every single goal that you set for yourself is a big wall that you have to climb and when you look up you will doubt yourself and it's important to trust yourself and take the first step towards that climb.
Where would you like to go?
You are standing upright, facing the great wall, and as you look up at the enormous structure, you are looking at the very top. You want to climb that wall and reach the top! You have your eyes set on the very end.Life is no different. You have your vision, and your goal, and that's what you want to achieve, but there are many challenges between where you are now and where you want to be. Embrace the journey and keep your eyes on the prize.
You're stuck, but you can't give up
Between the bottom of the wall and the top there are many meters of 90 degrees vertical and you have to climb all the way up using your arms, legs, hands, and brain! It's not a straight line to the top, it's more like a zigzag, constantly looking for a better position and how to use your skills and strength.Yes, life isn't a sweet ride on the playground. You will have to deal with unfortunate situations, bad positioning, and lack of strength on many occasions, but whatever comes your way, make sure you never give up! You lose if you quit, and starting from scratch isn't quitting, it's going for it again and again. Winners always try.
Study the wall, imagine your trajectory, but be ready to adjust.
Every time Clara faced a new wall, I would ask her: what was her plan? Are you going right and blue or left and green? Are you going to start with your right arm or left leg? Are you tired or ready to go? She always had an answer, but she rarely did what she had in mind.
When you start at the bottom and you look up and you think about your moves, where you are going to throw your leg and use your power, but when you execute it, things might look different than what you saw from the starting line and you have to change and adapt.
I think planning and accessing the risk is necessary and it can help you avoid stupid mistakes - that's where you can leverage experience - but when you go after what you want it's rarely going to be what and how you thought it would be and it's important to embrace all the changes and adapt as quickly as you can. It's OK to change direction, but make sure you always keep your eye on your North Star.
“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”- Mike Tyson
You can always improve
Clara would master the children's wall after two or three tries and be ready to move on to the next one, but I would challenge her: "Can you do it better? Can you go the blue route and only step on x pieces?" and she would take a chance and try to prove to me that she was in control.
We are an evolving species and I think our main goal is to become the better version of ourselves over time. Can we get better? Can we improve? I don't just mean going faster or further in a race, but can we become a better father? A more devoted son? Can we keep learning like there is no tomorrow? I think we should embrace the uncomfortable zone of always getting better.
Getting better takes focus, discipline, and dedication.
In her first attempts, Clara managed to get over the wall, but she was unhappy with her efforts. She wanted to try again to prove to herself that she could do it, and after three or five attempts she was still not there. She was stuck in a place where her friend was cruising easily and she wanted to improve and be on the same level. It was a particular wall that she had climbed over 20 times and, as her father, I knew she wanted to master it.
Some experts say that it takes 10,000 hours to master something and I don't want to put a number on it, but if you want to get better you need to focus, and develop a high level of commitment and discipline. There is no other way to get better than to do it over and over again.
I think we as parents can teach our children to focus and work hard for what they want to achieve in life.
“Only the disciplined ones are free in life. If you aren't disciplined, you are a slave to your moods. You are a slave to your passions. That's a fact.”
- Eliud Kipchogue
You need to develop mental and physical strength
Clara weighs 20 kilos and she could get up and down many times before asking for another sip of water, but she did say a few times that she was tired in the sense that she could keep going mentally but her body was asking for a break. When I looked around I saw a lot of men my age who could go two or three times and they needed to recover before they could go again.
At one point Clara was struggling with an adult wall and she tried a few times but she could not get past a certain point and decided to stop. She did not have the brain power to try again and she wanted to have fun and explore something else.
At a time when we as a society are facing the greatest mental health crisis of our existence, we need to develop not only our muscles but also our minds so that we can better cope with the challenges we face in life.
Some people will cheer you on and some will expect you to fail.
Clara spent the day with one of her best friends and they happily moved around the building, jumping from wall to wall. They both took turns sharing their victorious smiles with each other and although they were both only 8 years old, they both cheered each other on and gave each other tips on how to win the wall.
It was one of the most amazing things to be a part of; they were both very competitive with themselves, but they were supporting and cheering each other on all the time.
They shared a moment in their lives that they will never forget.
Life is so much better when you have a group of people you can count on and support. When you have loved ones in your life and they win, you win with them and they will celebrate your victories and lift you up when you take a hit.Learning to love and be loved is a powerful thing. It changes your whole life.
Undoubtedly there is much more to be extracted from this beautiful sport and how it relates to the way we must face life, but I can't thank Clara enough for inspiring me to be sensitive to this moment and to connect these dots.
Clara, I love you until my last breath.
Hecho con Amor en Madrid.
Hasta luego.
Daniel Silva